"What If?"

"What if the Lord had not been on our side?
Let all Israel repeat.
What if the Lord had not been on our side when people attacked us?
They would have swallowed us alive in their burning anger.
The waters would have engulfed us; a torrent would have overwhelmed us.
Yes, the raging waters of their fury would have overwhelmed our very lives.
Praise the Lord, who did not let their teeth tear us apart!
We escaped like a bird from a hunter's trap.
The trap is broken, and we are free!
Our help is from the Lord, who made heaven and earth."
Psalm 124, New Living Translation

What If?

I don't know about you, but I play "what if?" games all the time. I make a decision, don't get the results I expect or want, and then ask "what if I had done something differently?" or "what if so-and-so would have just got on board?" or "what if I had never done it at all?" and so on and so on and so on.

My past is littered with "what ifs". What if I had completed my degree when all of my friends did instead of 20 years later? What if I had actually listened to advice I was given years ago about my finances? What if I had never smoked? What if I had focused more time developing relationships instead of expending my energy in work, work, working? What if I had really pursued the talents I had in music, in writing, etc., instead of pursuing what I thought would bring in the most money? What if I had spent my time living today instead of worrying endlessly about tomorrow?

These kinds of thoughts have eaten me up over the years. Literally, eaten me up. And my perspective rarely changed. That is, I always looked at myself as a negative outcome of these "what if" questions. In other words, my thoughts went something like this: "If I had completed my degree when all of my friends did, I would be better off today. If I had listened to advice about finances years ago, I would be better off today. If I had never smoked, I would be able to run better today. If I had focused more time developing relationships, I might actually have a family now." Etc. I'm sure you get the idea.

I was well beyond 40 years of age when it occurred to me that it was possible that my circumstances were actually better because of the "what ifs" . The thought process was: "If I had completed my degree when all of my friends did, I might have gone into the totally wrong field, been stuck in a different dead-end job and been unhappier. If I had listened to advice about finances years ago, I could have actually had an even worse situation! If I had never smoked, I might never have been able to relate to people who struggle to give it up as I did." Etc.

I think of some of the tough situations I've been in over the past couple of years, and am grateful to the Lord for being on my side. There were times people would have swallowed me alive, or my circumstances would have engulfed me completely. And tonight I thank the Lord for protecting me and for being there in all of my circumstances -- for soothing me, encouraging me, empowering me, etc. I know that things are not always as they seem. Life can throw some curve balls my way, but Jesus himself has caught them already. All I have to do is say "Thank You" and get up, dust off and move on.

What if I didn't know Jesus?

www.ccci.org/wij/